Adult Dodge Ball

I am isolated. I sit in my office which is a 7 foot cube with a window staring at my computer screen. I'm usually unable to do anything about it. It's just my style.

So today when my room mate came home and invited me out to play dodgeball with grown adults I was hesitant at first. Why leave my office when I can play dodgeball on my PC. Also, who's gonna get drunk on all the beer in my fridge if I'm not there to drink it? Well I got a wild hair up my ass decided why not head on down to play some dodge balls with ol' Nick the roomy.

So we arrive at 8:45pm. This seemed a rather odd time to go about playing dodge ball. The last time I played I had to be in bed by 9. It never occurred to me that people would take dodgeball as seriously as they were. What followed kept me smiling from ear to ear the entire night.

After we got there my roommates friend de-briefed us on what we needed to accomplished during each round of dodgeball. With our objectives firmly in place we confidently strode out onto the mat looking as manly as you can in socks and your old high school gym shorts.

Actually that was partly a lie. I wasn't wearing shorts, I was wearing my old nylon gym pants from high school. These things are cheesy and even have my name written on the front tag so I don't lose them. They're a deep maroon with a navy and white racing stripe on each side. There is one lonely pocket on my right butt cheek. They're very utilitarian and lack any pussy magnetism.

As we stood confidently on the side lines, I was impressed by the sheer competitiveness some of the players demonstrated. Their go big or go home attitude really made watching the game fun. The atmosphere was friendly, though. You wouldn't be able to notice it when they were throwing those nerf balls at break neck speeds.  I sucked, by the way.

Everyone played and rotated. It was a fun atmosphere and made you feel young. I was brought back to adulthood when someone mentioned going to the bar. I hate the bar.

I met a lot of people tonight which was a nice change of pace. I usually stay home in my nest squawking at comments in subreddits. Today I got to talk to people with faces. The real world isn't so scary.

Mountain Dew Online Advertising

So it's a Saturday afternoon, I'm on the internet, and I just complete the Dark Brotherhood quests in Skyrim, life is good. I decided after too much video game playing to sit down and peruse the internet looking for some nice advertisements. Then I got distracted and after a series of clicks, I found this:

(Go ahead and click this, I'll be here when you get back)

Back? Sweet! Wasn't that extreme? Didn't it conjure images of awesomeness --like dirtbikes, extreme sports, and Halo!? You bet your ass it did! Mt. Dew has been, without a doubt, the most extreme drink ever, or at the very least that's how Pepsi.co has positioned its brand since I can remember first consuming its sugary goodness when I was a kid. Mt. Dew however has taken to a whole new campaign, trying to go further than viral... they're trying to become a meme on websites such as reddit.com and tumblr.

Take a look at a post on r/trees two weeks ago. For those of you readers (that definitely don't exist) that aren't familiar with reddit that's a marijuana related forum, just in case you missed the pot leaves at the top. This post recieved 1179 link karma, out of roughly 7,000 people who had voted on it (58% who voted it up) which meant this was on the front page of anyone who subscribed to r/trees which is also on the front page of reddits vanilla settings.That means a ton of people were looking at this the day it was posted. Many people, like myself, log onto reddit a couple of times a day without going into our accounts, and we may have seen this advertisement three or four times, just idly scrolling by. On top of that, reddit forces me to actively remember what it is I clicking because their users try craft clever names to attract th most attention. "So I just bought this domain," makes me look at the domain link, or recall what it is I clicked, thus hitting me twice as hard if I happen to be looking at the front page for the umpteenth time due to boredom on a Saturday evening. This is how blogs get born.

So I searched for "fuckyeahmountaindew" online, which led me to their tumblr account. I'm not sure if it is, but I assume its owned by the same person(s). I could be wrong, but I'm a blogger... not a journalist. Go and fact check for me if you wish.

It's nothing too special, just some pictures of Mountain Dew taken with instagram, and an attempt to appeal to college kids who have dry erase board on their dorm room doors. Actually, after looking at it more, it really is all towards college aged kids. Aren't I an Einstein!

Also, they have an image on quickmeme, just adding to my conspiracy theory that Mt. Dew is attempting to take over the minds of young adults via catchy online marketing memery.

Meme used to not mean what it does now. It has two definitions as far as I'm concerned, but for the sake of this discussion we are going to use 4chan/reddits (aka: the internet) definition: stupid inside jokes that you will only get if you spend a lot of time on these particular websites. They pop up on your hipster/nerdy/stoner friends wall all of the time. I would know all about these because I fall into this demographic.

Pepsi.co is smart. I hate to say it, but we as consumers are not as smart as we think we are. We are easily susceptible to things that are presented to us in our language, our way of communicating. The Pepsi and Mt. Dew commercials you would see in the 90's were all "Generation Next!" and "GRRRAWWWW EXTREME SPORTS" or something, and showed people. People were hanging out and doing normal things people do everyday like break dancing in back alleys, or jumping out of airplanes. The older generations didn't have porn, videogames, and facebook at their fingertips like we do now. I don't have to leave my house to socialize or entertain myself; instead I can write down my thoughts, talk to my girlfriend, look at funny shit all night, and give shouts to my friends over the internet! So naturally I spend more time alone now than I would have if I were a 25 year old in 1992.


So now Pepsi.co expects me to be happy with a catchy guitar riff, a single picture of Mt. Dew, and an irreverent web address! And they should expect that, because that's who their trying to attract through this style of advertising, nerdy folk  like me.

They're doing a good job, I'm just wondering if they paid people to click upvotes all day on reddit or if it was totally organic. Now I'm going to go down to the corner store and get me some Diet Pepsi. That stuff is nectar to me.

Coca-Cola and Disney tag team marketing!

I just payed 30 dollars for a t-shirt at Club Cool (a joint advertisement by Disney and Coke). This particular "club" features Coke products from around the world! Everything from Gingerale of Mozambique to watermelon soda of china are featured in this exhibit, free to sample.

Coca Cola has had a presence in Disney for a long time (forever, maybe) and it's not so hard to guess why. All it takes are some fond memories, and the ability to recall a brand (what seven year old doesn't know what Coca Cola is?) and you have a potential life customer.

Here are some photos of Club Cool. It's pretty interesting!

Terraria

I guess I will review another indie game!

A week or two ago a friend of mine gifted my Steam account Terraria, a 2d sandbox game  based on adventure and crafting. This is not a game I would have bought for myself, but nevertheless I have given it an honest try (approx 20hrs), and have enjoyed most of what it has to offer.

To start you design a character. You can skip this and use the default sprite if you prefer. I could care less about how my character looks, because I know he will be covered in bad ass armor. So I named him "Gilly" and started out on my adventure, where I was promptly flogged like a red-headed step child by none other than a pack of roving slime. "Well fuck," I thought "this never stopped Martin Luther King Jr. from achieving his goals, and it certainly won't impede me." In fact, I don't know how MLK would have reacted to being attacked by slime. I probably handled it better.

So I set out into my new world with a small copper sword, a pick, an ax, and some other odds and ends. I had no idea what to do. I kept exploring, ignoring the guide that serves very little purpose, until night fall  Where I was beaten to a pulp by zombies and flying eyeballs. "Damn it, what would Martin Luther King do?" I decided he would probably Google how to play this game...or not play as he was busy fixing the world and being black Moses.

Since I am not MLK, I Googled the game, and came upon the Terraria wiki. Let me get this straight, if your game requires a wiki to make it through the first thirty minutes, screw you. But I quickly learned what I needed to make in order to make housing to keep zombies and eyeballs away. It also told me to mine. Basically that's all you do.

With that in mind, I figured I wouldn't make it past 10 hours of play time. Why on earth would I want to dig for hours? Well it turned out to be strangely addicting. As i kept digging down, I was finding better minerals to make better tools so I could dig further and faster. As I was making tools, I could make weapons and armor to protect me from those monsters.

The farther you dig, the more caverns and dungeons become available. There are also worlds underground, such as Jungles, the underworld, and other places of interest. You can find weapons, and materials to craft different things, and make your character look even cooler (some people are Link from LoZ...I'm a ninja.)

But the game itself isn't what is so interesting. After you have developed your avatar to be somewhat powerful, and you've rid your world of the bosses, you can set about creating unique landscapes. This is where the game becomes fun. There are very little limits with what you can
do (it has to be 2d though). There are tons of examples of what people have done. Check out this Christmas tree!

This was made by "the_satch"

Also, you can run pre-made adventure maps, as well as do multiplayer with friends. My roommate saw me playing and decided to buy it. I set up a server (which was a pain!) and we got to playing. I crafted him some stuff and showed him how to play. Adventures will be more fun if you have more players.

I like this game, but it could use some work. Luckily, it is being actively updated and the programming team seems pretty hell bent on making it better as they go along. I wish they would make it easier to run servers. Also, they should consider a "how to" campaign map for you to play through, so I wouldn't have to  google instructions or talk to the guide. It was very overwhelming in the beginning. I had no sense of purpose, and if someone said "use your imagination," that would have helped a ton. I'm so used to playing games where the object is to reach a point, find an object, kill a bad guy, or protect something that I had very little idea as to what I felt I should do. After a few hours, it starts to flow from you but in the begining you may as well be Tom Hanks in Castaway.

Braid: A review

Have you ever made a mistake, and wished you could take it back? Have you ever stayed up all night musing about time? Have you ever seen trees and clouds morph before your eyes in dimensions you can't explain? If you answered yes to any of these you might be a hippy. Okay, Foxworthyisms aside, this game is a beautiful work of art that only takes a few hours to play through. There is a lot of depth in this game and once you get past the cliche of saving a princess who is in a castle (that is never the castle you go to), there is quite a bit to appreciate.

Fuck you Toad.

The game is a puzzle game that spans six worlds. Each world has unique visuals that compliment the mood of the game, and the story that is unfolding as you solve each puzzle, hoping to get closer to the person you love.

The main game mechanic involves the manipulation of time. Anyone who has played Prince of Persia is fairly familiar with this concept. A long with the manipulation of time each world has a different mechanic such as a ring that slows down time, an alternate reality, or a world where the direction you move effects the flow of time, and how each mob traverses the world.

The game sets a striking atmosphere. The visuals are the most pleasing of any game I've ever played through. My joke about being a hippy is kind of accurate, as the colors sort morph and give the backgrounds a strange dimension. Despite the game being a 2D side-scroller the backgrounds shift through colors to offer a unique experience I have not seen in any other game.

The music is very pleasing, and actually assuages a lot of the frustration you might feel while playing this brain-buster. Many times I've caught myself whistling the main theme, or playing the tune in my head. As you progress through the levels the soothing music makes it so much easier to stay calm, and not through the controller through your monitor.

I've played a lot of video games throughout my life, and many of them have been mediocre at best, but every now and then a game like Braid comes a long that is truly wonderful. I've never been more frustrated, yet so motivated to finish a game before. The level designs require you to look at all the ingredients to come up with an effective solution to progress. There are so many "AHA!" moments that you just can't quit.

Another aspect that makes this game special is that it was designed by an independent developer. It has no corporate funding, and from what I can gather by the website it was self published. The game sells for Twenty dollars, and it is well worth it... but its part of the "humble-indie-bundle" which is a "pay what you want" package of some seriously impressive independent titles. I purchased it last winter during the steam holiday sales for five dollars I believe.

The game while highly worthy of praise is not without faults. I found it was far too short. I would have liked to play longer, through worlds with even crazier mechanics. I think a world where gravity and time could both be manipulated at the same time would have been cool. Also they could have adjusted the difficultly curve a little bit. This game gets labeled as "casual" but it picks up in difficulty so fast that it may turn the not-so-hardcore gamers away from it. The difficulty jump from world three to world four is so immense that I found myself getting annoyed feeling stupid that a game was beating me.

Despite the slight flaws I recommend this game to the fullest extent. It's up there with games that I will never forget such as Warcraft Two, Half-Life and The Legend of Zelda. Even if you aren't a gamer, and have no interest in gaming it is worth sitting down and figuring it out --especially if you like puzzles and logic games.

Tricky sales tactics

I have worked in electronics retail in the past. It is an interesting endeavor, especially when there are no sales incentives. The whole approach is very interesting, and I feel in many ways gives marketing a bad name, even if the sales tactics used by floor staff aren't tactics endorsed by the company's marketing department.

After my six hour drive from Scranton PA, (break was awesome by the way) I sat down to peruse reddit.com before working on an essay due later this week and saw an interesting thread discussing slanted sales tactics. The original poster spoke about how Best Buy was tuning lower priced televisions to standard digital channels, and the higher priced ones to High-Definition to help convince customers to spend the extra cash.

This doesn't surprise me, though I am not aware of them using that tactic at Best Buy 341 in Dickson City, PA. From my experience, this was probably the most likable Best Buy you could venture into. Most employees were really helpful, and the managers were pretty reasonable as well. Other Best Buys that I've been to had terrible staff that were ill-informed and seemed put out by your merely coming into the store. I'm looking at you, Wilkes-Barre.

I digress, the thread highlights some interesting sales tactics. The aforementioned one is the most detrimental to a brand's image though. If I were a rep for a lower priced television set, I would make sure that the TV's are placed on High-Def stations, or playing a Blu-Ray DVD. If consumers are to see my product, I want them to have the best image in their heads as possible, not the image some middle-manager who bosses around a rag-tag team of punk kids wants it to have. Electronics companies need to be very aware of this, and control their image quality accordingly.

While I was selling, we didn't have too many sneaky tricks. Computers are a little different than televisions. Of course things were placed out and planned for maximum sales, but that's not tricky, that's just common sense. We also started high and worked our way down. Much like the tea salesman at Teavanna did trying to get me  to buy $80 worth of tea. My manager taught me the most amusing trick while I worked there though, and once you do it three or four times, you don't feel bad anymore because it was so useful.

Say for instance you're shopping for a new memory stick. There's ten different brands in front of you, and you can't decide which one to get. A sales associate walks over to you and asks to be of assistance. You explain what you want, and he replies with his knowledge about the product, and the quality of the brands. You then take a moment to decide, but before you realize it, he or she has picked the most expensive one (or the one that's on sale if they need to be moved) and placed it confidently in your hand. You think for a minute and realize that this one is the one you want because this person who has built a trusting relationship with you in three minutes feels this is the best fit. When in reality, the sales associate just wanted to move on as quickly as possible and still make a sale.

I swear that worked 85% of the time. I always went for the most expensive one but not to make more money for the store. I found after a couple of tries, that if I give them the cheap one, or mid range one they either think I'm insulting them because they are poor or that they don't know better. I decided to give them the most expensive one and let themselves shimmy down the price points as they pleased --unless there was an item on clearance sale. Then I gave them that one.

there are a ton of comments to peruse through, it's definitely worth a look.

http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/mr7th/reddit_store_owners_what_tricks_do_you_use_to_get/

Marker advert

Saw a fun and interesting advertisement today. It was voted up to the top of reddit.com. Good ads tend to float to the front page. Last week I posted asics, this week I present Faber Castel:

Trying to relate this to Marketing Metaphoria. I will think of things when I wake up.